(no subject)

Go to google image search
Type in your answers to the following questions and post the first postable image result for each.
1.place you grew up: Ex-town, New Hampshire!

2.place you live now: Williston, Florida. Yuck.

3.favourite cartoon: DUH!

4.favourite food: I love bagels!

5.favourite drink: Snapple Elements Juice: RAIN! (agave cactus)

6.favourite song: Pool Shark

7.favourite smell: Strawberries or Vanilla!

8.favourite shoes: pink chucks


(no subject)

Oh boy. I love you. All.

My dad is such a baboon. And I don't like baboons. He wouldn't be such a damn baboon if he'd buy me a car with MY money. It's my money, damnit!! I can't wait till I'm 21 cause then I can dispose of it as I please.

I can't wait till college. My grandma asked me where I wanted to go to college and she was excited when I told her that I want to go to BC. Actually I think she was more excited that I actually want to go to college at all. I'll be the first in the family (besides my mom but she waited till she was 30 something to go, so that doesn't count). How special is that? I'm really excited, ya know? I want to make my family proud. Give them something to be proud of. Yes, my brother is soon going to be a millionare but that's by default. No worries though, I love him.
My sisters on the other hand are a different story. We won't get into that right now but they aren't doing so hot. They'll get it together someday. I hope. I really do love my sisters, I just don't love the way I'm treated most of the time and I also don't love their personalities a lot of the time. They'll grow up someday.

Oi. I can't wait to see you guys (you guys meaning my friends back home, because if anyone actually reads this, it is probably them).
My kitty is making funny noises.
Oh yeah.
Teddy past away. (the fat black kitty).
Old age and sickness I guess.
He lived a pretty long life though, so atleast that's good.
Oh man, I cannot imagine the day that Rescue dies. I will die inside. As pathetic as it sounds, he is all I have right now and he's gotten me through all my hard times in life. Ever notice how an animal just sits with you quitely and calmly when your sad and they try to make you feel better? Animals are amazing. He loves me unconditionally and he shows it. Oh I love my kitty. By the way Kalen and Cara (and whoever else lives with us in college), he's living with. No joke. And theres no negotiating.

Okay, well it's like almost 11 and I want to take a shower before I descend to bed. Maybe I'll try to post a little more often

I love you all!!!

(no subject)

Oh man. I think it's time for an update.
Hmm. I need a car. Like insanely bad. I also need a job. I'm poor. My whole family is poor. Things aren't too happy here. This summer...was so awesome. I was hardly ever home. Always out with the best friends I've ever had. Now I'm home all the fucking time. I can't stand here. I'm like wasting my life away in front of a computer screen. What a happy life.

I need to get out. I think I'm going to the movies this weekend to see The Grudge but I'm not sure. Hmm. I thought this was going to be a good update. But now that I'm writing it I have nothing to say.
Maybe some other time.

(no subject)

I honestly never imagined how much I'd miss people. No one can even begin to imagine how much I long for my 18th birthday. The day I can move back to everything I love. Man. I miss Cara and Kalen. And I miss Mary and Amanda. And I miss everyone that I even spoke with. I miss walking down the hall in school and atleast recognizing people. I've made a few friends at Williston. To tell you the truth, there really are some cool people here. But nothing is ever going to change how much I miss my real home.


I love all you ex-towners. Don't forget about me in the next two years! : (   please?

Here. Some pictures to remember me by! Haha.


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oh man.

Florida sucks. I think it's only cause I haven't met anyone yet, though. I miss you all like mad crazy.

It's been a while since I updated. Hmm...so what's happened?

Before we were leaving on saturday Kalen came over and then a little while later Amanda showed up. It was early and I was happy that they really came to see me. We cleaned out the upstairs hallway. Amanda took my sister's fish cause she gave it to her. I gave her a bunch of video games too. Well...we found a bunch of old film. So Amanda and Kalen dropped them off at walmart so they could get developed. They came back and a little while later we went and picked up Cara and all her stuff. Then later, when Kalen had to leave, it sucked. Very emotional. We kept crying. And then laughing at each other for crying. And that went on for a while. And then later Amanda had to leave. I was very very sad but I was all cryed out, and we had cryed earlier that morning when she got there. Well, we set out on our way to Florida on saturday (aug. 21st) and we got to plaistow and the fucking bus (don't ask) broke down. So we ended up having to get it towed and we went home. Well...actually, Cara and I went to her house. She taught me how to drive a standard. I did well. Then TIMMY!!! came over (to cara's) and he hung out with us for a while and then we all (me, cara, and kalen) slept over Cara's house. Kalen had to leave early in the morning and she woke me up and was like "i gotta go, bye" and i was just like "bye". I totally forgot the fact that i wasn't supposed to see her again for a long time. But we ended up seeing her later that day cause we went to Water Country to pick up our checks. We ended up staying there for a really really freakin' long time, mostly hanging out at the dough tent with Erin, Kyle, and Mike. I love those boys and I love Water Country. : (    Anyways, it was getting late so Cara and I decided to leave. On the way home we were driving along and I remember glancing at the speedometer and I thought "oh shit, we're going way to fucking fast" and then right after I thought that we go around a curve and Cara starts to lose control. I saw a telephone pole and I was thinking "oh my god, we are going to hit that". Cara told me she saw it and thought the exact same thing. From then on it was all a big blur of both of us screaming "oh my god" and then boom. We hit. I was knocked out for a few seconds but then I opened my eyes, looked around and it was the scariest thing that ever happened to me. I was covered in my own blood which was dripping from my head. Cara was lying across me not moving. I tried to get my door open but it was stuck so I just kind of sat there helpless screaming "no" and "cara" and saying "oh my god". I honestly thought she was dead. I saw a lady running towards us screaming for help and then she opened my door and sat there with me and then cara started kind of moaning in pain and then she woke up. She was really out of it at first. It was so scary. Then the medics came and took me away to the hospital and Cara was taken in a diff ambulance. I remember asking for her and crying and yelling at them when they cut my clothes. I got to the hospital and laid in my bed alone for a while. People kept asking me questions that I didn't know the answer to. They brought me to ex-rays and then when I got back my parents were there and so were Cara's.  Then Kalen came which made me happy. My sister came a while later. We were there for a real long time and then when they said I could go I wanted to go see Cara but she was getting more x-rays or cat scans or something. We went to walgreens to get my vicodin and then I slept over Kalen's house since my house was empty. She made me a grilled cheese sandwhich and soup. I love my Kalen. We went to sleep and my mom picked me up at like 9 am cause Kalen had to work. Me, Kalen, and my mom went to go see the car. I saved everything I could. Which wasn't much. I got one of Cara's shirts, a bunch of change, my check, the remote to her stereo, and a cd case. Anything else in the car was buried or out of reach. Seeing the car was really scary by the way. To see that my best friend and I could be dead. Damn. I went to the bank, cashed my check, went to walmart. I bought Cara a talking donkey (donkey from shrek), 2 hersheys with almonds (huge ones), a pair of pants and a skirt cause they would be easy on her hips. Oh yeah, Cara fractured her hip and a vertebrate in her back and she got a bruised lung. I got out with a huge bruise and a huge welt (that wont fucking go away) on my leg and a bunch of cuts. I feel kinda guilty that she got so hurt and I'm pretty much okay. Anyways. I went to go see Cara and she was sleeping when we got there but her mom was there this time and so we sat there and her mom and mine were talking about Florida and Cara wakes up, not even knowing I was there, and the first thing she said was "I wanna go to Florida". It was cute. So yeah. We had to leave (with out cara :'(  ) and it took 5 fucking days to get here because of the bus was so slow and shit. We left on a Monday and got here on a Friday. Oh man. So yeah. I start school on tuesday and Cara is coming down as soon as she gets off crutches. I can't wait! And then I'm (hopefully) flying to NH on the 18th of December and flying back (with Kalen) on the 24th. Hah HAH to all you NH people's, I get a longer vacation than youuuuu. haha. So yeah. I think I'm done typing for now. I'll post pictures of the car and shit in a little while.

I love you all very much and I miss you more than you'd know!!



subtle like a T-Rex.

Warped Tour was amazing. I went with Caramia, Kalen, and Thomas J. (aka tom rice). And just to say... I love Anti-Flag live.
There were a lot of annoying people there but, hey, that's life, eh?
I really have nothing else to say. That kinda blows?
blows like a cheap whore, that is.

"conformist bastards"

alright man.

(no subject)

Hey you. Yes. You. Friend. Enemy. Stranger.
Are you breathing? Let me feel it.
Reply to this entry on a whim.
You can say anything about anything.
Me. You. Him. Her. Them.
Envy. Passion. Hate. Love. Fear.
Secrets. Confessions. Stories. Ideas.
Facts. Myths. Legends.
A N Y T H I N G.


It's one day short of a month since I updated. And that wasn't even a true update. You know nothing about what has happened so far. I'm done with drivers ed, except one class and 4 more driving times. Supposed to get my license on the 17th. I hope I don't fail. Dear lord, don't let me fail. If I do fail, it's over. I don't get a second chance. We're out of here the 22nd and theres nothing I can do about it.

I was supposed to go see Josiah tomorrow with Cara. But now I can't cause I have to go to drivers ed in the morning. I'll find a way to get to him. I will....I hope.

Justin comes back from camp in two days. That's pretty cool. I want to see him again.

There are so many people that I'd like to see before I go. But truth is, I don't think they could care less whether they see me again or not. That really sucks.

I don't want to leave this place. I can't do it. I'm trying to be strong. I really am. I'm trying to look at the bright side of it all. I want to get excited about it. But I can't. I can't stand the thought of losing everything I have. Most people may not see it as a lot. I don't have that many friends but the few that I do have, well, I can't live without them. In the world, I don't feel accepted. But to my friends, it's like, I know they don't give a shit about what the rest of the world thinks. They care about me, and goddamnit, I care very deeply about them too.

I really don't know if I can do this. I can't start over. I'm not strong enough.
This boy at work, Adam, he's a cool kid. We were folding pizza boxes and i was telling him that I was moving and he was just like "aww and you have to leave your friends...etc etc" but then he was like
"but then you'll get down there and you'll make tons of friends. You could be the most popular girl there."
I was just kinda like
"yeah, right"
and he was like
"No, really, you never know, they don't know you past or anything. You might be the hottest thing they've ever seen"
and even though it's not realistic at all, it was comforting that he said that.
But even with that, even if I did think that could happen, it's not going to be the same. Nothing's ever going to be the same to tell you the truth. I know I'm not going to lose touch with who I have here. I love them more than anything. I'd do anything for them. I'd die for them. But even with that, it's not going to be the same.

My sister is screaming about how much her life sucks and how no ones life is worse than hers. Holy fuck. She's 18 and she's worse than I was at 13. She's a moron and needs to get a grip of reality. So many people are worse off than her. She MAKES her life bad. Basically by staying with Stevie. Fucking moron. I hate her so much sometimes. She makes me realize what this world is fucking coming to. Stupid ass woman staying with controlling men who beat them and make them feel like shit. Everyone, if you love me, never let me end up like that. Knock me senseless until I realize shit.

I think I'm done now. I have today and tomorrow off from work. I want to get my LJ up and running on a daily basis again. I'm going to do a new lay out soon too. Don't know what yet though.

I love you all. Take care and be happy. Please, seriously, be happy.